UPDATE: The biopsy discussed in this post was also non-diagnostic, but my risk for cancer was elevated due to a previous radiation treatment almost 15 years ago. I also had other factors, like calcification. Mostly, the pain intensified in October 2014. I ended up having surgery to remove the right lobe of my thyroid on November 19, 2014. To read about that journey, click here.
I'm really not the type to talk about my medical conditions on social media accounts. I really try to keep my posts funny/sarcastic or helpful in some way there, sometimes I rant about stupidity. I use that space to feel good. So, I keep my thinkier thoughts here on my blog. But last week, I had a doctor's appointment that has kept me stressed out ever since. I had a biopsy performed on a thyroid nodule last October with inconclusive results. I informed my endocrinologist that my thyroid is hurting lately, and he was feeling around, and he found my lymph nodes, especially the one on the side of the nodule, to be enlarged. He did an ultrasound and there's no significant change to the nodule itself (at one point, it did grow quite rapidly). He's not happy with the enlarged lymphs and associated pain. He scheduled another biopsy for the middle of July. Which brings us to this post. I'm losing my fucking mind waiting. I just want it over with. I don't want my life put on hold for any amount of time. And it does not help when my lymph nodes become sore while I wait. They're going to biopsy the lymph node too, and I will have my answer as to whether or not I have cancer (unintentional rhyming).
I'm really not the type to talk about my medical conditions on social media accounts. I really try to keep my posts funny/sarcastic or helpful in some way there, sometimes I rant about stupidity. I use that space to feel good. So, I keep my thinkier thoughts here on my blog. But last week, I had a doctor's appointment that has kept me stressed out ever since. I had a biopsy performed on a thyroid nodule last October with inconclusive results. I informed my endocrinologist that my thyroid is hurting lately, and he was feeling around, and he found my lymph nodes, especially the one on the side of the nodule, to be enlarged. He did an ultrasound and there's no significant change to the nodule itself (at one point, it did grow quite rapidly). He's not happy with the enlarged lymphs and associated pain. He scheduled another biopsy for the middle of July. Which brings us to this post. I'm losing my fucking mind waiting. I just want it over with. I don't want my life put on hold for any amount of time. And it does not help when my lymph nodes become sore while I wait. They're going to biopsy the lymph node too, and I will have my answer as to whether or not I have cancer (unintentional rhyming).
The way I manage extended stress is through distraction. I post a lot on Facebook and Instagram or I'll pin like a maniac on Pinterest. I do a lot of things, like spending too much money, going out for no reason, and drinking too much, to avoid unpleasant thoughts. I think a lot of people handle stress this way, whether they know it and are able to articulate it or not. There's nothing anyone can do or say that will calm me down. I know all of the things that can be said for comfort.
- I know that worrying about it won't make it go away or make the biopsy happen sooner.
- I know that it's not in my control right now and that I need to wait.
- I know that someone will tell me that everything is ok, but I know something is wrong. I don't know it because a doctor is suspicious of it. My doctor is suspicious of it because he respects that I know my body.
- I know that even in the worst-case scenario, that even if I have cancer, thyroid cancer is curable in almost 100% of cases.
- I know I will probably need surgery, regardless of the results, and that I will be in skilled hands, and that I'll live.
